I'm back baby!

I'm terrible! I havent been able to access my laptop for ages and then I went away for a month so was unable to update this! My bad! Forgives me? *puppy eyes*

My trip, well it was pretty amazing, i saw some really strange things, crazy people and genuine kindness (though a lot of fake kindness too) and had some incredibly hilarious moments that (and yeah i know I hate people who say this but in this case it really is true!) you had to be there to understand. Many in-jokes were spawned from this trip and I'm really glad i went. I also got ideas for random one off scenes whilst I was there, some I wrote...some I havent got around to yet. But i think once written theyll be pretty damn amazing, i'll show you them when I'm done. Promise

Coming home was still great though, to be back in my own bed, to not have to constantly think about tax or tips....to be able to sleep without snoring or construction...Bliss! And yeah to be back in the arms of my bf was great too, nice to feel missed after all. :P

Well the point of this post is simply to get on my knees and apologise to my followers and promise some treats to come...some snippets of writing and possibly photos of my exploration of america. Since I should probably get to bed as i have *sigh* work in the morning I'll wrap it up here with just this note...

My Dad doesn't deserve me. And this year is going to scare the crap out of me, stupid uni :(

Bye lovelies!

Is it that look in her eyes?

http://browse.deviantart.com/?qh=&section=&q=mine+lovers#/dqxiym

I found this on deviantart i think, and I really love it. The image screams possessiveness to me. holding him close and knowing he's yours. Having someone you care enough about that you'd fight to keep them and fear losing them? That's a possessive kind of love that I appreciate. Look at her, she's screaming at you to fuck off with her eyes because he is HER man and she won't share. Love it. And he's willing surrendering to the heat in her embrace. Because he's staking his claim too. She is his and he is hers. Beautiful.

You ever have those days when the innocence is all you want, the memories all you need? Speaking of....

http://alicexz.deviantart.com/

beautiful work. Captures the essence of the movies perfectly. 

People need to know that they shouldn't have to change who they are to satisfy others. Who you are is amazing, you don't need to fit into others' ideas of perfection. Perfection does not exist. But you need to accept yourself before others can accept you. Or love you. 

You have no idea how much she needs to know you think she's pretty or beautiful. It is so important to tell her how you feel. If she's put effort into feeling beautiful, tell her because otherwise she'll feel crushed, like her effort was wasted. And when her hair's a mess and she's merely in pjs or bumming round the house clothes, if you think she's looking adorabley cute. tell her! People really need to start telling things how they see them. Course if you think she looks ugly I probably wouldn't mention that, you might earn yourself a slap.  What I'm saying is  be honest but be smart, you don't want to hurt someone's feelings.

And ladies, if he's looking damn fine, tell him! You might preen his swollen ego but sometimes men are far more sensitive and insecure than we believe. Turns out they need the boost just as much as we do, sometimes more. Never let your man (or friends) feel unappreciated, unattractive, or undesirable. Guys are more fragile than they appear. 

Plus they can be kind of slow so if you want something, or they fucked up be blunt, just tell them coz they really have no idea what your hints mean, that's if they even notice. My new years resolution (aside from the one about being nicer to my sis) was to be more honest, not that i really have a problem with honesty, but I dont want to send mixed signals anymore. If I want something I'm going to say it, because im sick of misunderstood when I simply havent been clear enough. 

All you need to know about me...

Merry Christmas y'all

So today I was woken up by my sister's face mere inches away from mine. Freaking scary sight to open your eyes to, creepy, which i suppose was her aim. But still... not nice.

But anyway... MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!! I hope all my followers have a great day filled with lots of love, good food and good company. I hope by the time the day is over you will have had one to remember forever :) Dont forget to thank santa :P

The future a.k.a The dreaded Where do you see yourself in five years?

Career. Most people have some kind of plan, a rough idea of what they want at least. But me? Not a frigging clue. I recently graduated my uni course, so I now have a Bachelor of Arts in Psychology and Criminology. Go me. But then it leaves wtf to do next year. The psych part of my course bored me and since I'd rather kill someone than do another unit of anything remotely connected to research or stats that means honours and fourth year are out....so you aren't looking at a psychologist. And the crim part? Meh, more interesting so I might do something in that field in the future. But tbh im clueless. I have no idea what to expect or what to do.

What I would love to do would be to open my own little boutique bookshop, a nice little place with space to read thats tucked away from the brunt of the world. Maybe with my own book on the shelves. But it's a dream I'll likely never fulfill. The rise of ebooks and online shopping has crushed bookshops. Why bother going out to buy a book when you can buy it online or read it on ur kindle or computer? And as for having my own book on shelves somewehere? Who'm I kidding? I'm not that good.

Love life. Hell the idea of introducing my bf to my sis or Dad freaks me out so much. Like it will make it real somehow. He seems so hesitant to introduce me to his friends,which I can't help but overthink. Ugh too many thoughts bothering me but for now I think I'll just do my best to enjoy the ride and have some fun, after all It's about time this angel let her hair down and her horns jut free. This year? I plan to be naughty.

As for the future of my love life I hope that it's full of adventure and passion, trust and support. I hope that I managed to tick many things of my 'list' and add many more along the way. But most of all I hope I learn how to feel more than lust for a guy. I'm afraid I'll never learn to love completely. That I won't be hugely disappointed by sex or love because I learnt everything I know from romance novels or tv. The idea that nothing is as great as I've read about scares the crap out of me. I want the epic romance, I don't want my love life to be boring!

Family. My sister's pregnant. God the idea of a baby in the house makes me cringe. I find myself breathlessly praying that her n her man stay together forever because the idea of her moving back in and me losing my space to a nursery makes me want to commit some crimes. Anything to get out of the house :P My Dad and I managed to have our first civil conversation in over 6 months yesterday so maybe things are looking up there. Perhaps we can head back to having a relationship though I think our father-daughter bond is too damaged to ever be repaired. Still he's the only Dad I have so I gotta make the effort right?

Hopes and dreams. I'm thinking about writing a kind of Bucket List. Not that i'm dying or anything but since I really don't have many hopes and dreams I think I really should create something to aspire to. I don't want to just exist.

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So what's on your bucket list? Plans for the future? Are you as scared of it as me?

Also I noticed I have a new follower. Hello!!!!

Pic Post