He's making a list and checking it twice, gunna find out who's naughty or nice

Now Christmas may be four months away but that hasn't stopped me from beginning my Christmas shopping :P A few people already have their presents from me organised but most are still up in the air. See the thing about Christmas shopping is a lot of people leave it to the last minute...don't believe me? Look at the awful rush at the shops in December. Now my theory is if I spread it out I have less worry, i don't have to worry about things like postage delays, drain on my savings, or simple stress over what the hell to get the people I care about.

To me presents should show thought and effort. Some amazing presents I've given...not to toot my own horn, include a usb with photos from the last 20-25 years for my mum, a novel length story with my friend as the main character for her birthday, and tickets to an admittedly awful but totally appropriate play. Now this year I've planned out almost everyone's presents, there are only 2 or 3 people I haven't come up with anything for yet. But more importantly I've decided to follow the path set by many chefs and foodies and do hampers with sweet treats inside.

 Now my question to you guys is what should i put in the hampers? Suggestions would be awesome. And do you think it's okay to do one for my boyfriend's family or is that strange?

Do the thing you fear most and the death of fear is certain - Mark Twain

Today I was watching the latest episode of Warehouse 13 in which the characters, via a videogame, face their worst fears. This seems to be a common theme in tv shows with a paranormal element. Characters are often required to face their fears. Buffy's Nightmare epsiode required the citizens of Sunnydale to face their fears...Buffy becoming a vamp, Willow singing in public, Xander was terrorised by a clown whilst Giles went blind. Stargate Atlantis's Doppelganger episode killed of characters through scaring them to death. Charmed had an episode, can't remember the name, but after a run in with too much of the Sandman's sand the girls dreams came to live and they had to face what the were afraid of in order to make it go away. This theme even shows up in cartoons! The Powerpuff girls, Hercules, Lilo and Stitch (the show), and even Ducktales explored a person's worst fears manifesting.

So what's the point of all this you may ask? Well it got me thinking, what is my worst fear? Why does this scare me? What are the most common and what are some of the worse fears of the people around me.

The most common worst fears, according to the net are, in no particular order:

• Gaining weight
• Being alone 
• Germs
• Rejection
• Snakes and Spiders
• Speaking in public
• Getting old
• Death
• Permanent injury resulting in helplessness (paralysis, sudden blindness etc)

I asked a few people what they fear. To hide their names i'll use numbers instead :P

1. Snakes and Losing the one he loves

2. Death without making an impact on the world. 

3 Spiders

4. Spiders and drowning

5. Dying alone. 

Now it may seems like I've been dodging the whole personal aspect of what I'M afraid of, but trust me, I haven't forgotten. I'm getting to it, i promise :P

I'm afraid of the usual bugs and creepy critters. At night if there's something in my room i get incredibly paranoid its touching me. I don't know why, it's stupid because honestly what is a fly going to do to me? But there's something about insects that makes my skin crawl.

I'm afraid of doing new things alone, I admit I'm a complete chicken. Seriously. I don't mind new things so much I'm just absolutely terrified of doing them alone. So i guess that's partially being alone as well.

I'm afraid of people. There's a lot of cruelty and hatred, pure evil in this world and I fear it touching me or anyone I care about which is why strange noises freak me out, i always immediately think there's someone in the house and it bothers me greatly. I'm afraid my friends will never find anyone who will appreciate their strength and passion or treat them the way they deserve. I'm afraid my mum will never be happy again. I'm afraid everyone will achieve their dreams and that I will never find my bliss. I'm afraid my future kids will have a Dad like mine and will feel the same rejections and abandonment I did.

I'm afraid of becoming blind because I love to read and watch tv and would never be satisfied with an audiobook. I fear breast cancer because i doubt I'd be able to catch it in time and if I had to have a mastectomy I would look incredibly lopsided. I'm afraid one day I'll wake up and realize I'm agoraphobic and can't leave the house. I'm afraid I don't have the same emotions or feel the same as other people. I'm afraid my violent nature will end up costing me more than I can afford yet it's an instinctive behavior I can't stop. I'm Afraid I'll never orgasm. 

As you can see I'm plagued by fears. But enough about me. What are you most afraid of?

What I'm reading right now...

My main book I'm reading is one I've read before, a sizzling paranormal romance novel by Sydney Croft aka larissa Ione called Riding the Storm. It's the first in the Agency of Covert Operatives series. Haley Holmes, the main character is sent by her agency to lure Remy Begnaud to her agency before ITOR the rival agency gets to him. Remy can create weather when he's aroused or emotional and this book is heavily filled with sexual content. it literally has a sex scene every few pages. I love it.

I'm also reading Dragon Wytch by Yasmine Galenorn. The fourth of the Sisters of the Moon series this book focuses on Camille, a rather sensual and promiscuous witch. Set in Seattle Camille has two main boyfriends and owes a dragon shifter a week of um...service? Not sure how else to put that to be honest. Along with her sisters Menolly, a vampire and Delilah a tabby cat shifter the half fae women seek to prevent their enemy shadow wing from getting the third spirit seal. There's also a Prince Unicorn with a precious gift that vanishes and Fae creating mayhem amongst the full blooded humans. I like this series but it's quite slow each book focusing on the sisters. This is Camille's second book and I still find it hard to swallow how attractive and sexual she's meant to be, it's a bit much.

I'm almost halfway through Twitterature by Alexander Aciman and Emmett Rensin. A birthday present from a friend It basically consists of classic books such as the Iliad and Hamlet retold through twitter updates with each book taking up one or two pages. Interesting and funny i'm getting a relative understanding of the plot of books i've never read before in a short period of time.

The final book I'm rereading David Eddings' Magician's Gambit. The third in the Belgariad series I have been reading this one in a while and whilst I truly love this one i only get around to reading a few pages a day because of everything else going on. I want to finish rereading this series as I think David Eddings is an impressive and underrated author with an incredible array of novels. This story follows Belgarion and his companions on their quest to find the Orb of Aldur.

Reality vs Romance Novels

This is a draft I wrote ages ago that I just discovered. I hope you find it interesting. If you think of anything i might have missed lemme know :)


1. Shower sex...not as easy as it sounds unless the girl is tiny and the guy is strong enough to pick her up and support her weight. Also issues with slipperiness. However experimentation can result in a few positions that are manageable for a few minutes at a time....

2. Timeframe. RN have these whirlwind romances that would honestly freak me out if it happened in RL, If we fell in mutual love in the space of a few days i would be terrified. Something that burns so hot initially is bound to burn out.

3. Strong hatred turned to love. Yeah right, admittedly some of the most passionate anger can be a disguise for lust but really strong feelings where the person has been badly hurt by the other person cannot be changed, especially in such short spans.

4. Multiple orgasms. The girl is often uptight or reserved in the beginning before being unleashed, turned into a sexfiend. Both partners can orgams repeatedly in a session of sex, everytime. In almost EVERY book this occurs. Frankly there is a large percentage of the female population that can't orgasm, or struggles to multiple.

Bucket List

So I've started making my own bucket list. I intend to finish it and make it look pretty then print it out and mark things off. So far I have 50 things. Here they are:

1.       See a hot air balloon festival and go up in one

2.       Go to wallmart

3.       Learn sign language

4.       Invent a lullaby

5.       Have a massive library with a sliding ladder

6.       Experience zero-gravity

7.       See the Northern Lights

8.       See stonehenge

9.       Travel through Venice on a gondola

10.   Learn sword fighting

11.   Learn how to shoot with lots of different guns

12.   Read every book written by Sherrilyn Kenyon

13.   Make a list of 100 books I want to read and read them all

14.   Collect my favourite books from my childhood

15. Buy every book on my book wishlist

16.   Meet Misha Collins

17.   Meet Matt Bomer

18.   Meet Jenson Ackles

19.   Join the Mile-High Club

20.   Pass on a family heirloom to your child. (We don't have any so I'd have to start my own tradition).

21.   Write a letter to each of your children telling them what you want them to know about your life and the lessons you've learned

22.   Have my own home with a fireplace

23.   Have a four poster bed

24.   Get a book published

25.   See someone reading my book

26.   Donate blood

27.   Own a small bookstore with comfy cushions to sit on.

28.   Write a novel in a month through NaNoWriMo

29.   Try Beignets at Cafe Du Monde

30.   Quit a job I hate

31.   Attend a Murder Mystery Dinner

32.   Have a whirlwind romance in a foreign country

33.   Meet Sherrilyn Kenyon

34.   Go Zorbing in New Zealand.

35.   Starburst

36.   Plant a tree

37.   Ride in a black 1967 Chevy Impala

38.   Watch all 8 Hp’s in a row without stopping

39.   Have a zen garden

40.   Go to a comedy festival in Montreal

41.   Visit Vancouver

42.   Tick everything of my ‘naughty list’

43.   Ride a mechanical bull

44.   Visit all the Disneyland/world’s : Orlando, Paris, Hong Kong, Japan, California, 

45.   Make a candle and keep it burning for someone I love

46.   Knit a quilt

47.   Develop my own herb garden and keep it alive!!!

48.   Take a roadtrip with friends

49.   Snuggle up in the arms of the man I love and watch fireworks

50.   Make a list of 100 things that make me happy and decorate it

If wishes were like flowers I'd like....

- Flowers. Noone's ever given me flowers before.
-Guys to be able to tell what your hints mean.
-People to be more thoughtful with their gift giving, not just relying on something predictable like alcohol as a gift, especially when the receiver barely drinks. For my 18th i got heaps of alcohol. I drank NONE of it, shows how much you know me people :/

-A claddagh ring for my birthday. I used to have one but my sis dropped my tv on it and smooshed it. I'd really love another one so that i could show the world in a teeny tiny way that my heart belongs to another. Plus the whole thing is a sign of friendship, love and loyalty and that seems like such a beautiful thing to me.
- To rediscover lost abilities. Namely baking, but also pool and drawing.
-My sis to have her baby, she's now 5 days overdue and i'm tired of waiting for the news that she's gone into labour!
-Starburst. This might only make sense to a few of my followers but it bothers me greatly that I have yet to achieve this. it seems that those who can don't appreciate or desire it nearly as much as those who cant, it seems to be one of those 'weak know the true value of strength' things (yeah i watched the captain america trailer earlier :P )

Can't touch this

Sometimes a girl just has to rant, so bare with me. I've recently been embroiled in a fight between myself and my boyfriends's mates. A heated debate turned into them attacking me and my friends who weren't even involved ending with me in tears and my bf deciding to not talk to his friends. Unfortunately his assholes of friends have decided that I am the enemy that must be eliminated and are consistently driving a wedge. His mate threatened me, demanded my bf 'sort out his bitch of a gf' and blamed me for absolutely everything, claiming that my guy is a bad friend and stating that 'he hopes he gets shot' when he gets deployed.

I feel like I've ruined a friendship, and am hurting my guy, despite the fact that I was the one attacked and not the attacker. I'm miserable over the situation and feel like a terrible person. Frankly I'm sick of them ganging up on me. So I've decided my attitude needs to change. I don't need them to like me as long as my bf still loves me. I didn't do anything wrong so I don't need to feel guilty. And ya know what, fuck them! Threatening my relationship, my friends, saying that you'll sic a warrant officer on me...makes you a fuckwit. Calling me names like fat slut, vile bitch, and stating that he can 'go and find a REAL woman once he's done' with me makes you a horrible person and a nasty bastard. And I'm not going to let you hurt me anymore. I'm not afraid, you CANT hurt me, and you CANT hurt my relationship unless i let you. And i fucking wont.