Bored.

So I've been feeling a little high strung lately, excessively emotional which is unusual for me, I'm usually kinda of emotionless. I'm not 100% certain whats wrong, i usually operate better under stress than normal situations, but I think there might be too much stress right now. trying to keep all these secrets and help everyone out and do my assignments and live my life. And it all just keeps crashing down on me.

I think i've figured out why its all affecting me so much. I'm bored. All the time. I'm so sick of being alone and so bored of just doing the same things day after day. i miss excitement, and fun. There's just something so wrong with feeling alone. I'm used to being alone and normally it doesn't affect me, i rarely feel lonely.  it's just there are times when everything is too much and all you want to do is crawl into someones arms, have them wipe away your tears and tell you that everything will be okay because you have them. But alas, it's times like these when it really hits you just how alone you are. There is noone to hold you. Noone to brush the tears off your cheeks. No one who can drive over to your house to tell you everythings okay even though its 2am. You are alone. And it sucks.


But my point is its the boredom that gives me the time to think about these things. Simply too much is going on in my head because there is too much time where i'm just thinking.  Maybe I need to get out more...