Thursday, September 8, 2011

Fuck this all

I'm freaking out. I think i'm gunna be poor. Don't wanna move, don't wanna downsize. Feel like everything spiralling away from me. My mum's broke. I want to help but it's just going to cost me so much. Wish I could just afford to move out but frankly i cant. Life sucks so much. I wish things were so different, just feel like crying. I guess I'm used to a certain lifestyle and the idea of having it ripped away from me sucks. Have to get used to wanting more than I can have, this fucking sucks.

I know this sounds like the whining of a rich brat who's parents suddenly went broke, very cliche. And yeah I know I'm old enough that i should maybe start supporting myself, but whilst i'm quite domesticated theres noway i can afford it. I just don't need this stress, and neither does she. My mum is way too sick to have to deal with this. And now im scared all the time. Scared it's going to send her into a huge spiral, make her worse which'd cost her more which'd stress her more! If she was healthy she wouldnt have to pay so much for her shrinks, she could hold a job, she could be sociable and happy. But she's i guess i just have to deal. I can't deal with this.


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