All you need to know about me...

Merry Christmas y'all

So today I was woken up by my sister's face mere inches away from mine. Freaking scary sight to open your eyes to, creepy, which i suppose was her aim. But still... not nice.

But anyway... MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!! I hope all my followers have a great day filled with lots of love, good food and good company. I hope by the time the day is over you will have had one to remember forever :) Dont forget to thank santa :P

The future a.k.a The dreaded Where do you see yourself in five years?

Career. Most people have some kind of plan, a rough idea of what they want at least. But me? Not a frigging clue. I recently graduated my uni course, so I now have a Bachelor of Arts in Psychology and Criminology. Go me. But then it leaves wtf to do next year. The psych part of my course bored me and since I'd rather kill someone than do another unit of anything remotely connected to research or stats that means honours and fourth year are out....so you aren't looking at a psychologist. And the crim part? Meh, more interesting so I might do something in that field in the future. But tbh im clueless. I have no idea what to expect or what to do.

What I would love to do would be to open my own little boutique bookshop, a nice little place with space to read thats tucked away from the brunt of the world. Maybe with my own book on the shelves. But it's a dream I'll likely never fulfill. The rise of ebooks and online shopping has crushed bookshops. Why bother going out to buy a book when you can buy it online or read it on ur kindle or computer? And as for having my own book on shelves somewehere? Who'm I kidding? I'm not that good.

Love life. Hell the idea of introducing my bf to my sis or Dad freaks me out so much. Like it will make it real somehow. He seems so hesitant to introduce me to his friends,which I can't help but overthink. Ugh too many thoughts bothering me but for now I think I'll just do my best to enjoy the ride and have some fun, after all It's about time this angel let her hair down and her horns jut free. This year? I plan to be naughty.

As for the future of my love life I hope that it's full of adventure and passion, trust and support. I hope that I managed to tick many things of my 'list' and add many more along the way. But most of all I hope I learn how to feel more than lust for a guy. I'm afraid I'll never learn to love completely. That I won't be hugely disappointed by sex or love because I learnt everything I know from romance novels or tv. The idea that nothing is as great as I've read about scares the crap out of me. I want the epic romance, I don't want my love life to be boring!

Family. My sister's pregnant. God the idea of a baby in the house makes me cringe. I find myself breathlessly praying that her n her man stay together forever because the idea of her moving back in and me losing my space to a nursery makes me want to commit some crimes. Anything to get out of the house :P My Dad and I managed to have our first civil conversation in over 6 months yesterday so maybe things are looking up there. Perhaps we can head back to having a relationship though I think our father-daughter bond is too damaged to ever be repaired. Still he's the only Dad I have so I gotta make the effort right?

Hopes and dreams. I'm thinking about writing a kind of Bucket List. Not that i'm dying or anything but since I really don't have many hopes and dreams I think I really should create something to aspire to. I don't want to just exist.

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So what's on your bucket list? Plans for the future? Are you as scared of it as me?

Also I noticed I have a new follower. Hello!!!!

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Wondering...

Do you ever stop to wonder 'God what am I doing?!' ??

Slip of the tongue cutting through the tale

Words and conversations can sound so epic on the page. Flowing with a humour and ease that just sounds awesome. You can sound so smart, witty or wise. But you know what, try saying it out loud and you sound like a tool. 

Soul Bound was written as a gift with myself and my friend as the main characters. Yesterday we actually read through the conversations acting them out. It was hilarious. But more importantly it made me realize something just in time for Soul Bound's first indepth round of edits. My conversations are either extremely cliche, simply bad, or too mortifying to ever be able to say out loud seriously. My entire story needs work. But you know what? Reading through it helped. Why did I never consider doing it before? 

So I think when each story reaches editing stage I might actually grab a friend or two and read through the talking. See how well the conversation truly flows. 

So tell me my genius writer buddies, when editing how do you decide what stays and what goes? What needs work and what sounds truly awful? 

Help?

So I'm making my own version of a cookbook. it's basically a collection of recipes i know and love and some I've yet to try. If anyone has any recipes that they adore and use a lot. Food they well and truly love and would like to share I'd appreciated hearing them so I can give them a shot :)

So this is a request to all my followers. Share your classics...please?

So you had a bad day...

So today I found out that a girl I thought was nice had been calling me fat behind my back, I'm not so much hurt by the fact that she thinks I'm fat; clearly she has her own body image issues that shes forcing onto me because it's easier. But I am bothered by her bitching. Having never done anything against her it confuses me as to why she felt the need to attack , i thought we were friends. Clearly we're not. I'm not one of those people that feels the need to monitor what I eat and bemoan every calorie. I like food and I eat what I want, whatever. Yeah I have days when I feel fat but I rarely hate myself the way she does. But you know what, I'm relatively happy. And I don't like it when people fuck with that. 

I also had another fight with my Dad over something that i said months ago. I'd hoped he'd have gotten over it. Clearly he hasn't. Yes I was in the wrong, but so was he. I shouldn't have to take full blame for the breakdown of our relationship. You don't care anymore then fine, whatever. But I'm sick of trying to fix it. So fucking sick of it so I give up. You'll either get over yourself and accept that you've been an absentee Dad and try n fix it or you wont. Up to you Dad. No wonder all my FMC have Daddy issues. 

I'm so tired. Work, a social life, and sleep, seems losing any of of these sucks. If I dont work then I have no money. If I dont have a social life I'm bored. If I don't sleep I'm cranky as hell and both work and my social life suffer. So I've decided sleep is important! Lots and lots of sleep in the next few days before I have work again methinks.