Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Fresh Starts and Hard Pasts

So you may have noticed the new design? There are new bits and pieces around my blog so I'd love it if you took the time to have another look around, see what's changed, and let me know what you think?!

I needed a change, my life's been feeling a bit smothering and rut-ish lately and whilst it's only a super teeny tiny change it's a start. My sister's moving out next week into her own house so that should give me the freedom and space to move my stuff around until I figure out a new space. And it should free up an area to fit my guy's stuff in my room without it taking over, although I'm sure many of you know a guy who simply has to cover a room with their clothes and junk...

Ran into someone recently from a fairly traumatic time in my past, he remembered me but not my name, and that hurt more than it should. His actions destroyed a part of me, left me feeling like complete and utter crap and he has the gall to forget my name?! I thought I was over it, but i'm not. I'm still angry and hurt and want more than anything to forget the damage he did. But I never will. And what makes it worse is that to everyone he seems a perfectly nice, attractive guy, but to me? He's the one who seduced me into thinking he was a sexy nice guy, and then tricked me in the dark, refusing to take no as a final answer. And he's the one who ripped my self-esteem apart with his final words "It'll be better with someone you love." You know what asshole? It is better but I'd rather not know what it's like on the other side thankyou very much. I'd rather not know what it's like to meet a guy who doesn't listen to 'I'm not going to have sex with you' who's you're a virgin and still decides when it's dark and you're distracted that it's okay to do that. God this wasn't supposed to turn into me bitching about that, I'm meant to be moving on. Forgive and forget right? Well I might forget but I'll never forgive!

So anyways, happy thoughts, I think i'm addicted to coke. But it's okay, it's diet :P Hehehehe

NaNoWriMo starts next week. Wish me luck and I hope some of you guys give it a shot too.....


  1. That happened to me too, but it was an email though. And he told me does not want or need me in his life. Which is why I am getting my revenge on him in my novel. His character is going to die as a way of me getting over the past. Turn to writing and you will feel better.

  2. That's a good idea. I should write him into my novel and kill the crap out of him.