Now what?

So Nano is over. Finally. I managed to drag myself over the finish line by writing 20 000 words in four days. Which btw...seriously hard! And yeah I know my story sucks. And I know it needs a lot of work but you know what? I'm impressed with myself. i said I was going to do something and I did it. So I'm proud of myself.

It was hard, at the beginning of the month study for exams got in the way. In the middle of the month and towards the end work and a seriously hectic social life intervened. And yet I didn't have to give up anything and i still managed to get my work done. I feel...accomplished. So yay. My story isn't finished but for now I need a rest, Christmas is approaching fast n I have stuff to do, but once cards and presents are done I'll be committing to completing Chaos Unleashed. Maybe one day you'll see it on the shelves somewhere...under a penname of course.

So I'm finally able to blog regularly again, promise :P Sorry about my little hiatus! Forgive me?

Nano: Freaking harder than it looks!

So I hit 29 000 last night. Except I'm supposed to be at 37 000! I'm falling further behind every night no matter how hard I try. It's so much harder than it looks!!!!!!!!! Here's a taste of what I'm currently up to.

“So I have a choice. Join them or die?”

“No, you have a third choice, learn control and then hide. Hide in plain sight. Do your job everyday, go home, walk your dog and shag your wife. Do nothing unusual and they will never notice you.”

“My dog and wife?”

“Well to blend in that’s what it takes. A family. A job. Fit in and be free. Stand out and die.”

“not much of a choice...”

“You say that now, but be honest with yourself Blake. A wife, kids, steady job on the Force, isn’t that what you want from life? So just do it. The only difference is that now you have a secret that you can’t tell anyone. Not even your soulmate.”

“Well now that you have my future all planned out how will I know what my gift is?”

“You know how to meditate?”

“Do I look like I know how to meditate?”

“You look like you know how to do many things; run a mile, build a shelf, catch a killer. Meditation’s not one of them. Time to learn though. Unless you wanna take up yoga?”

-----    ------    ------    ------    -----   ------     ------     ------     -------     --------    -----   -----    -----

Or a scene from a few pages earlier....

“So I’m betting you don’t usually do that when you’re on the clock?”

“Nope. Maybe I should, although I think the other guys would be a tad freaked out.”

“Oh I don’t know Blake, I can’t be the only one to think of alternate uses for crime scene tape.”

“Oh?”

“If I told you, I’d have to kill you.”

“Seems a bit excessive.”

“I always do things to extreme. Killing you with kisses so to speak.”

“So there’s kissing involved...”

“Oh please, there’s far more than kissing involved.”

“Now you have to tell me!”

“Or what? You’ll spank me?”

“How is it a punishment if you want it?”

“I could be a masochist...”

“Please you are far too sadistic for that.”

“Oh ouch. You wound me.”

“Liar.”

“Well in any case you should learn to be more innovative.”

“Like this?”

He grabbed her wrists in one large hand tying them to the headboard with his belt.

“Nice try, but amateurish my dear.”

Chaos easily wriggled free and laughing pulled him close for a kiss. It was playful, a gentle exploration unlike the previous passion-fuelled heated clash of teeth and tongue. She could taste herself on his tongue as he could no doubt taste himself on hers. Too soon he pulled away. Their eyes met and fear rose inside her. There were definite feelings here, something growing between them that wouldn’t be denied. But they had to be.

“You know there can’t be anything more than this right?”

“Sex without love is an empty experience, but my mother always said to try new experiences, and I don’t feel like giving whatever this is up yet.”

Not even halfway yet

So I'm way behind as a result of taking a few days off around exams. Catching up now though at 22 000 words when I should be at 27 000 so it's still achievable. Here's a conversation I wrote today.

“Blake and I are going to visit some of the places we knew he was last at. See if I can figure out where he’ll go next. Maybe the cop will see something we’ve missed.”

“Would you stop calling me the cop?!”

“Would you rather I call you by Isis’s nickname for you?”

“Do I want to know what it is?”

“You wouldn’t!”

“I would!”

“Well what is it?”

“Isis calls you Officer Dreamy. Probie preferred Officer Steamy.”

Isis gasped, heat spreading across her cheeks as she covered her face with her hands.

“I can’t believe you told him.”

“Hahaha well that’s flattering. You’re quite pretty yourself Doc.”

“Ah ah ahhh hands off cop. She’s far too young for you.”

“Yeah besides Kae wants you for herself!”

“Isis!!!”

“Well if we’re being honest might as well but you in the hot seat too.”

“Cow.”

“Payback’s a bitch.”

“Just like you.”

“Jerk.”

“Rat.”

“Hypocrite.”

“Girls are you going to have to play nice or will I have to separate you?”

“Don’t you want us together Officer? Or are we too much for you to handle?” Chaos smiled flirtily, running the backs of her fingers softly up his arm. Shivers raced across his skin and sparks flew between them at the contact. Oh yeah she was way overdue for some fun.

“Chaos play nice. The poor man doesn’t know how to handle you.”

“Oh I know how to handle her just right don’t you worry.”

Chaos bit her lip at the promise in his heated gaze. He would know exactly what to do to make her burn, hell just being this close to him and she was smouldering with need. Isis was pretending to fan herself as she faked a swoon.

“Ooh boy the heat you two are throwing off is enough to make a girl melt. Get a room!”

“We’re in a room Isis.”

“Ooh maybe I should leave you alone then.”

“ Normally I’d say fuck yes, hell I would be ripping his clothes off with my teeth and you could either join in or leave.”

“But?”

“We have work to do.”

“Fuck.” Blake groaned, expelling a heated rush of breath.

“Later perhaps.” Chaos met his gaze noting the shared intensity, oh yeah they weren’t going to last much longer before they got all naked and sweaty. His white-knuckled grip on the back of the chair betrayed him, he wanted her too. So hard the chair was creaking under his grip. 

Teaser Tuesday - Chaos Unleashed

So I'm way behind, but here you go, this is a scene where Chaos has just injured herself and Blake has taken her to her 'home' where Isis healed her. It's a thought/experiencing opening to a chapter rather than a conversation. Let me know what you think

Softness caressed her skin. There was no pain, she felt safe and comfortable where she was. Smiling gently her eyes flickered open. The soft first rays of the rising sun dappled the walls with yellow tinged warmth as the birds began their daily wakeup call. She was in her bed at headquarters, its supporting hardness a contrast to the squishy pillow she was currently wrapped around. Her cheek was pressed into the satiny material her arms holding it close as her knee rested on the end, she was stretched out on her side like usual but something felt off. Not in a bad way or any sense of wrongness, something just felt different. Rolling away from the wall she faced her eyes scanned her room. At the foot of her bed with his head resting on her mattress and his body slumped forward in a chair was Blake Sullivan.

Asleep he looked vulnerable, the strong protective facade melted away to show the man beneath the cop. The faded lines around his eyes and the dark circles beneath them seemed less obvious as he slept deeply, he seemed almost innocent. Yet even in sleep a frown creased his forehead and his mouth was tight. Chaos wanted so badly to kiss away his troubles and snuggle against him as he slept. She’d felt safe when she woke up. She never felt safe at headquarters. This wasn’t her home and never would be. So why had she felt safe? The only thing different was him. He made her feel safe. It had to be part of their bond, a side effect perhaps. It couldn’t be him. The very idea of her past and profession disgusted him. They were total opposites and once this was over she would take so much of his life from him, remove any idea that he’d ever met her. Wipe herself from his mind once more. So why did that idea hurt more than freeing her gift had? It couldn’t possibly be feelings...could it?

Oh yeah, she was so scrubbed if anyone found out about this. Feelings were bad. Other agents would try to use him against her, leverage his life for power. And GIRM? Well they would just eliminate him. Distractions from their mission were not tolerated. Whatever she felt for him, whatever was growing between them had to be snubbed out now. Terminated at the source. From now on she would give no inclination of her feelings for him. Strictly professional.

But he just looked so adorably sexy lying there. She wanted him on her bed more often. And hopefully in a more conscious state. Something about him screamed sex god and it wasn’t just his sheer hotness. He moved with the grace and power of a predator, and she was his willing prey. He spoke with the authority of someone who was used to being obeyed and wasn’t she just dying to let him dominate her. Let him decide what she can and cannot do. Order her to do the things she was yearning for with the confidence of an alpha male. She wanted an equal, someone to share the responsibility and power with. Someone who could take her crap and call her on it, dominate her but let her dominate him. A power play that could fuel her desire for years. And she sensed he was it. Blake was the first man who’d ever been challenging, Alpha enough that she hungered for his touch, the feel of his body moving against hers.

She craved the sensuality that dripped from him promising a pleasure beyond anything she’d ever seen or experienced. He moaned slightly in his sleep as he shifted against the bed and Chaos knew she wanted to hear him moan her name as she screamed his. Hear her name roll of his tongue like a loving caress or a groan of desperation. He was a toy she would give anything to play with.

So why couldn’t she? If she kept feelings out of it and trusted her team no one would have to know. One night. They could have one blissful night together and it would only be frowned upon if discovered. He wouldn’t be killed, and if she altered his memories she wouldn’t be scrubbed. One night together was all she could dare. She knew that it would be worth any consequence that followed and she had to experience the promise of his touch. The chemistry was burning her alive. Maybe if it ran out of fuel she could focus enough to get Probie back. Tonight. She needed him too badly to wait any longer. They were running out of time. She would seduce him into her bed for one night of no-strings attached, mutual release of desire tonight. It was all she could offer him. Not that he would remember any of it. And didn’t that just suck. 

Teaser Tuesday - Chaos Unleashed

This is a conversation between my FMC Chaos, and the 'Intern' with her team, Probie.

“Where was victim two found?”

“She was bound to one of those giant statues you see around.”

“Do I want to know what statue?”

“Some statue of a soldier on a chariot pulled by horses. The poor girl was found with legs stretched out tied to the horses leg and a chariot wheel. Her arms bound to the horse's mane and the soldiers neck”

“Hung?”

“Yep, the rope attached to the soldier’s outstretched arm.”

“And this statue?”

“In the middle of a busy shopping centre. How he got in, evaded cameras, carrying a girl, strung her up and left without getting caught I have no idea. Crazy he may be but you have to admit he is good.”

“You sound like you respect him.”

“In some aspects I do. The guy has skills. He’s a bloody good assassin. Shame he’s killing civilians and putting us all at risk. Stupid media.”

“So you respect him but you don’t respect what he’s doing?”

“Fuck no. The guy is a chauvinistic, jerktastic ass with stalker and sexual harassment tendencies. I want him dead with every fibre of my being. The very fact that he is a good assassin makes him a bad person.”

“Would you not describe yourself as a good assassin?”

“Oh I am damn good at what I do, and I have no illusions. I am not a good person, do not presume to think otherwise.”

NaNoWriMo milestone 1

Yes!!! I passed 10,000 words, kinda feels like a milestone! Next up 20,000! :D Although I do think when nano is over and i'm editing i'm going to have axe half my plot and rewrite the whole thing. I can already tell that pacing is a problem. Oh well gotta keep writing!

Updates

Hey guys, sorry I've been so slack with updating this. But with NaNoWriMo and studying for exams, and work, it's kind of slipped my mind. My bad. Forgive me?
Nano's going well, I tried to add a little widget that let you guys see my wordcount except I couldn't figure it out, it kept saying 0 which made me sad :P Still trying to give my male lead a name I like. Maybe you guys can help. meet Homicide Detective _______, he's tall and manly, with blue expressive eyes, spiky dark hair,  buff and sexy. He's strong and brave, unerringly observant, and fiercely protective. He desperately needs a good name!!

Studying...well it sucks. It's hard to concentrate and if i wanted to read this stuff id've gone to my lectures. As it is I can do well enough to pass the multiple choice its the short answer i worry about. I dont know anything in enough depth for it. :(

Work. So I may have gotten a new job, not sure yet. But hopefully I'll get enough hours to quit KFC, I want the permanent casual job, so that if i do quit I have a job after Christmas. So here's hoping I get it. Otherwise I'll have to see if I can convince Michelle to let me stop working at KFC then come back around march...