NaNo no more

So I've not really being enjoying Nano this year. My story is not good, in fact it's down right shit. I don't love any of it. And since I'm not having fun I've decided to pull out. No more NaNo for me. Here's one of the better bits from my story for old time's sake but aside from one or two scenes i saved the rest is getting deleted.

“Other people use machines but I think the best pasta can happen when you put the most love into it, when you use your hands rather than letting machines do the work. Roll it nice and thin and you can turn it into anything. Pasta dough is incredibly, what do you call it? Versatile? It can become ravioli, spaghetti, you can make it into shapes or fill it with anything. Pasta is only limited by your creativity and imagination. I’ve always thought of pasta to be similar to love, it is stronger when you bash it with a rolling pin, can fall apart quickly if you leave it in hot water too long, and can be whatever you make of it. Do you understand dear?”

“Boys too are like pasta, sometimes bashing them with pins is the best part. Sometimes they should be left in boiling water until they fall apart. I am so sorry my dear for what you went through, but not all men are like that. Some would rather die than hit a woman and have good souls. You will find someone who will make you realise nothing else matters but your love for him and his for you. You too have a good heart. I see it.”

NaNo Log Day 10

On par : 16666

Aim: 17000

Current wordcount: 16700

I'm having issues finding enough time and motivation to write. I'm not liking how my story is progressing, the plot is fine it's the writing that sucks. I've decided she's going to spend less time in venice and go to america next, probably renting out a car to do a road trip. She's going to make a few friends and figure out her calling. and somewhere in her future have a Skype conversation with the woman who set everything off. Should be nice and awkward.

This scene is a flashback of a conversation with Shane that she has whilst she's on a boat in venice. lemme know whatcha think

“Shane?”

“Yeah sweets?”

“You’re okay with me going right?”

“Of course I am. You need to be free, I get it. It’s okay.”

“Will you be alright without me?”

He shifted, looking away from the screen and turning towards me. His eyes were filled with speculation and his lips curved into a crooked smile of amusement.

“No Catherine. I will fall apart, my world will completely collapse without you. They might even be a zombie apocalypse.”

“You’re teasing me.”

“Yes. I am.” He smiled and I smiled back though only half-heartedly. Instead of feeling better I flinched inwardly, he would perfectly fine without me, like I would no longer exist. Like I didn’t matter. Some part of me wanted him to at least miss me.

“So you’re perfectly okay with me leaving? You won’t even miss me?”

“Is that what’s bothering you Caty? You think I won’t miss you?”

“Maybe. Leaving you is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done and you sound like you won’t even miss me.”

“Of course I’ll miss you, you silly goose. You’re my best friend. Who else can I tell all my naughty gossip too? Or read smutty novels in silly voices with? Who else can I bitch about the girls at work with, or perve on guys with? We’re soulmates of the friendship kind and if I thought it was good for you I’d do anything to keep you with me. But part of loving someone is letting them go when they need to and just hoping they find happiness.” It was the longest speech I think I’d ever heard him do, and quite possibly the most heartfelt. Tears welled up in my eyes and I fought them back, afraid crying would ruin the moment we were sharing.

“I love you too Shane.”

NaNo Log Day 7 - I said kiss me!

Word count to be on par: 11666

Aim for the end of tonight: 12000

Current wordcount: 11500

So I've been falling behind because of work and boyfriend this weekend, been trying to catch up today and if I can get further and further ahead during the week it shouldnt matter if I can't write much on the weekends. Now officially past the 1/5th mark and my story is getting fleshed out a bit. Catherine my FMC is currently in Venice having a one night stand with a sexy local called Daniel.

                                                                           ~~~

Sliding off the stool I put my empty glass back on the bar, I strode around the smooth wooden surface until I was behind the bar, face to face with Daniel.

“Kiss me.”

“What?” He seemed thrown by my sudden boldness but I was finally ready to take charge. I wanted his lips on mine, and his hard body flush against my soft one, even if it was only for the one night. I wanted my first day in Venice to end with a truly spectacular bang that set up the atmosphere for the rest of the trip. Reaching up I wrapped my arm around his neck, ran my fingers through his dark silky hair and pulled him close for a kiss. Without any hesitation I rose up on my tiptoes and closed the gap between us until heat scorched between us.

I whispered into his lips “I said, kiss me.” He smiled against my lips, wrapped arms around my waist and tugged me closer pulling me off balance until I almost fell against his tight hard chest.

He pulled away grinning, in a deep husky voice almost like a growl he replied, “Then I shall do as you command.” Finally he kissed me, and everything spun in a whirlwind from there. The second our lips touched I felt his arms tighten around me as he lifted me easily onto the bar. My butt slid easily across the varnished surface as he moved between my legs. My ankles wrapped around his hips as he kissed my mouth, my jaw, my neck, dragging his lips across my tender flesh as I whimpered with pleasure. Rough hands shoved the material of my dress up my legs whilst his teeth scraped across the tender muscle where my neck met my shoulder, how he knew that was my secret weakness I had no idea but oh my god it was good. Pain mixed with pleasure until I could barely see straight through the haze of desire. I tried to concentrate enough to carefully unbutton his shirt but my hands were shaking and the teeny tiny buttons wouldn’t fit through the holes. Finally I just grabbed the edges and pulled sending buttons flying everywhere as they were ripped free from their stitching.

Nano Log Day 4

I'd fallen behind the past few days, life being hectic and such. Plus I'd gotten to a point in my story where I had no idea what i wanted to do next. but I'm back on top of it and up to date.
Par:6666
Aim by tonight: 8000
Current wordcount: 7070
Today's scene. Set in Venice.

“You look amazing.” The store assistant stood behind me, a cheery grin on her rosy cheeks. Tight blond ringlets were tight back loosely fighting vainly to be free. A name badge pinned to her light summer dress read Annie

“Thank you.”

“Hot date?” Here blue eyes twinkled as she teased me lightly, her American accent adding a twang to her girly voice. She was young but she smiled like she knew what I had planned for the night.

“Yeah. Sort of.”

“Sort of? He’s not hot or it’s not a date?”

“Oh he’s hot. Unbelievably hot.” I bit my lip, recalling the way his black jeans had snugly cupped his muscular biteable ass.

“His jaw will taste carpet at the sight of you in that dress. It’s stunning.” I giggled at how naughty her words could be taken, she blushed horrified and covered her mouth with her hand, tripping over herself to explain. “I meant his jaw will hit the floor, not you know...”

“It’s okay I know what you meant. Maybe I’ll get lucky and his jaw will do both.” We shared a giggle and my mind was made up. Even if this dress left me stranded in Venice I’d buy it, it was going to be so worth it. “I have to have this dress.”

“You should, and it’s on sale.”

“It is?”

“For you, yes. I can’t let anyone else walk out with that dress. It belongs to you!” Annie was being very flattering, probably had to encourage every customer to spend a small fortune or something but she really didn’t need to. I was going to buy this dress, and the shoes, and possibly even a gorgeous silver necklace with a dark jade pendent in the shape of a teardrop that would hang just above my cleavage. It felt strange, like it was calling to me. It wanted me to buy it. That sounds so strange when I think about it but it felt like this necklace was meant to be mine. I placed it next to the dress and shoes on the counter and Annie looked at strangely, a small frown on her brows.

“Jade. interesting choice, did you know Jade attracts love, balances the heart chakra, and...” she paused, studying my expression, “...it encourages healing.”

It was coincidence surely that the necklace I choose for my date would attract love and promote healing. I wasn’t sure I believed in the power of gemstones but this one held something special. Maybe it could help me heal from my past, move on, but even if it could, it couldn’t attract love. Love doesn’t exist. I thought i was in love. But I was just a pawn in his sociopathic game of revenge. I felt nothing but pity for his other woman though, she was with a sick twisted man and probably had no idea what he was intending to do. Or even what he was capable of. Maybe for me to properly move on I had to help her, had to get her to see Gary for who he truly was. She would know by know though, wouldn’t she? She would be wondering where he was otherwise wouldn’t she? And the Police would have talked to her, not that they seemed to be putting much effort into finding him. Guess I was just another case slipping through the cracks. He wouldn’t hurt me anymore, couldn’t I was ready for him this time. But he could hurt her.

Leaving the store with my new purchases I wandered casually back to my room. It was getting late, stores were beginning to close, the crowd was thinning and their air had gotten considerably cooler. The dinner crowd began to emerge, all dolled up in their fancy clothes as the cafes and restaurants began to light their candles, music was switched to a slower more romantic pace, and waiters moved around setting places. Crisp cool air teased my skin cooling my body, a tantalising feeling I’d never paid attention to before. Dusk was setting in, the formless clouds a palette of pinks, greys and reddish oranges painted atop a canvas of dark blue sky. The stars were beginning to shine and I couldn’t help but feel I was in one of the most beautiful cities on earth. I’d walked further than I thought; my hotel seemed impossibly far away but for once I didn’t mind the exercise as it gave me the chance to think.

I wondered about the men in my life. What was Daniel doing at the moment...was he contemplating the possibilities of tonight? Wondering what was to come of the evening like I was? Or was it just another night for him? Was i another notch on his bedpost? Not that it mattered all that much but a girl gets curious every now and then. What was Gary up to? Was he hiding or still on the run, plotting my demise in some evil villain lair? Sleeping under bridges using newspaper for warmth whilst the rats nibbled his face? Secretly hoping for the bridge and rats option I sent out a silent prayer to the universe that even if he wasn’t in some hellhole that he wouldn’t harm another woman again. I didn’t believe in prayer, religion and faith seemed like complete crap to me, but it couldn’t do any harm.

And Shane. My wise-man, therapist, neighbourly sage, I hadn’t called him yet! He was probably worrying about me, thinking the worst. He was always rather over-dramatic. But he was really all I had. I should call him, I’d promised him all the goss and I’m pretty sure a hot date with a sexy Italian man qualified as gossip. 

NaNo Log Day 1

Current word count: 2680

Progress Report : So I had no clue what to write when I started at midnight. But now the rough formation of an idea has started. And I've been writing all day. I aim to get as much done this week as I can because exams are coming up and that will cut into my writing time. I'll also struggle to get much done on weekends coz of work and the bf. So I need to keep up the pace in order to finish in time. Aim to hopefully reach 3500 by tonight.

The first bit I wrote:

Sometimes you have a plan, a list of things to do and the idea of how to do it. But then again, if you’re a girl like me, your plan never quite works out the way you want it to. After all this wasn’t what I wanted. My hints to the guy of my dreams about a romantic trip away had fallen flat on its face. The plane tickets I’d found taped to the underside of his underwear drawer were first class to Fiji. Wonderful. But neither of the names on the tickets were mine. Not so wonderful. So who the hell was Vicki Linden? And why was she going to Fiji with my boyfriend?!